givemeabreak's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can You Say Heart Attack Victim? It's official: My backyard is riddled with GARTER SNAKES. I have seen three different size snakes in the yard in the last week. The first one was the grand poo-bah of all snakes and was lurking around my perennial bed. I found the Queen Mother while I was dead heading my daisies. Of course I am bent over with my big ass up in the air plucking away at the flowers. I stepped backwards out of the flower bed and had this thought quickly race through my pea brain: "gee, that looks very much like a snake.....aaaaah....it is a snake!" Then I spend the next ten minutes in the driveway making those audible to all, deep gutteral sounding eeeeew sounds and flailing my arms like it is somehow on me. I am sure the neighbors think I am a whack job. Oh well - I am sure they thought that long before I started doing the snake dance of death. Of course my first notion is to find a huge shovel and beat it senseless because we should not share the same planet.... Then, my hysteria passes and I tell myself how helpful Mr. HugeAssSnake is to my garden and the bugs he eats, yadda, yadda, yadda. So I decide that we can live in peaceful coexistence as long as he never shows himself to me again. Afterall, he was almost 3' in length. The other two I have seen this week are mere children, babies if you will. They are about a foot in length and only about as big around as a pencil. Mr. HugeAssSnake was about as big around as a quarter. Ick. So when I went to the shed to get the lawn mower yesterday (that's how I spent my holiday) I opened the door and in the crevice of the doorway is JuniorSnakeAchiever. Of course I wasn't so freaked out considering this snake was so small compared to the perennial garden getter. With goosebumpy flesh I make a beeline for the patio to watch from about 10 feet away to see what Junior decides to do. He casually slips under the shed and I make a run for the mower. My neighbors have been taking wood from my firewood shelter for when they go camping. Barb, the nice seventy something neighbor lady caught me in the yard on Saturday and told me how she shrieked when she grabbed a piece of wood and underneath was a big ol' snake curled up and looking at her. I think it's safe to say that I won't be using any wood out of there until late this winter. Again. Ick. I really want to like the snakes and let them live here for all the good they do, however, they scare the shit out of me and I don't know why. I am grateful it's your simple garden variety garter snake as opposed to a Michigan Rattler. Good God, I would have to be committed. 1:04 p.m. - Wednesday, Jul. 05, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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