givemeabreak's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Think I'm Sexy...Come On Sugar Let Me Know... Tomorrow night is the Indigo Girls concert and I am so excited. Right now my obsession is what to wear...I don't exactly have alot of "lesbian chic" outfits. I always get tangled up in this vicious circle. I want to wear the cool jeans and chunky shoes and look like a hip chick, but yet I don't really have the figure for all that if you get my drift. Well, the chunky part I certainly have. Aside from all that...lately I have been feeling OLD and OUTDATED. I know age is a state of mind and my spirit feels less than 33 but I see all these young twenty somethings in their skin tight low rise jeans with big ol' belt buckles and tit tight tanks (thanks chief for the line) and I cannot help but feel like Frump-ella the Fashionista. My other thought is that I am going to be directly in front of the Indigo Girls...maybe they never look at the dorks in the front row, but there is this SMALL part of me that wants to look a wee bit fetching. Are you ready for the R-E-A-L reason I am sort of stressed about tomorrow night? Shit...almost every lesbian I know will be within a 3 row radius of me and I just don't want to look stupid. You would think by now I would have some confidence. I believe that I am pretty, but I always feel like I am invisible in a sea of younger, thinner lesbians. You may ask yourself, why is someone who is happily partnered upset about being invisible to the average lesbian consumer? I just haven't felt fetching in a very LONG time. When I think long and hard about the topic, I don't think that I have EVER been hit on by a woman. Flirting...once in a blue moon, but as a true blue moon goes, that is a long time in between. ugh. I don't know what I am thinking or feeling or saying. I just want to look good tomorrow night. I guess I am wanting that hot "L-Word" scene in the bathroom between Marina and Jenny when Marina tells Jenny she is so attracted to her and proceeds to kiss her. I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that my dear Tracy wouldn't find that so appealing, but it would be certainly cool if some hot chick told me face to face that she thought I was attractive. Oh how fun it is being neurotic. 9:40 p.m. - Wednesday, Mar. 17, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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