givemeabreak's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Monologue On Pooping I try not to make it a habit to be a public potty pooper, but there are those moments when you just gotta go. Work is one of those "for instance" kinda places. I think alot of it has to do with a direct correlation to eating the cafeteria food and my intestinal tract deciding that my sphincter just isn't strong enough to hold back the power of bad food in dire need of rapid evacuation. It's bad enough to have to poop at work, but then there really isn't a good spot to poop in peace. By pooping in peace, I mean being uninterrupted by others coming in and out of the bathroom. The ultimate locale would be the big girl one seater 6x8 luxury bathroom, however, that is a public restroom and at a hospital...I don't think that I want to go in there. So that restroom is out. Then, there's the women's locker room for staff. It's nice because it has a computer to check our work email, lockers for our junk, showers if necessary, some comfy chairs, and of course, nice bathroom stalls. HOWEVER, everyone and their sister comes in and out of that locker room, despite the fact that it has key pad you have to enter an access code first for entry. I am quite embarassed to be going on at great length about pooping, but today as I was suffering in undeniable pain and silence while desperately waiting for the other stall occupant to finish her business and be on her merry fucking way; I was sitting there thinking how ridiculous it is that people don't just poop around others. I mean really, pooping is a natural thing. We all poop, or at least we should be pooping. Other than the fact that you might gross the other occupant out with the stench of your own ass, I would think they could be rather endearing about the fact that you absolutely have to poop. It's not like you can help it or anything. You really cannot carry it around like a Prada purse and dump it out when you feel like it. I guess you could, but I think that you would be spending a lot of quality time having colonoscopies each year checking out why your poop chute doesn't quite work right. Today in anatomy we talked about the digestive system and holy cow, we have more sphincters in our body than I could have ever imagined. Sphincter, sphincter, sphincter, sphincter...it's just fun to say. Try it, you'll like it I promise. I think the next time you are pooping in a public restroom we should try a new experiment in behavioral science. When the other person realizes that you are pooping, and there is that awkward silence while you pray to not fart so loud as to shatter the bowl, just casually say something like, See how that goes... Happy pooping! 11:50 p.m. - Wednesday, Apr. 13, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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